Hello Friends!
I've never considered myself a particularly fearful person, I've always thought of myself as being strong, resilient and open to change. I recently butted up against my own limitations with the latest project I'm working on, which is a children's yoga DVD (ultimately with a book and yoga cards, for those of you with kids). One thing at a time!!
If I'm to be perfectly candid, I've been procrastinating a little, and been a little half-rumped about it. I don't have a ton of money to spend on production, and I've been fortunate to be introduced to a professional filmmaker/videographer, who is highly qualified, and will do it for very little.
Anyhow, I was supposed to send him an email a couple of weeks ago, and I told him I would do it in a few days. I just didn't send it, and wasn't sure what was holding me back. I had spent the time to outline all the steps to completing the video-- find some kids, figure out what I'm going to do, etc. I finally figured out that I hadn't sent the email that would put it all in motion because I was afraid I wouldn't be able to pull it off. And it sounds so ridiculous, it's just a video, and really, who cares?
I suppose it started to feel like a lot of pressure. I get a gaggle of kids lined up, and their parents have expectations, and if I tell people, my friends and students will have expectations, and what if I am not good enough to make it interesting and compelling and finish it??? I'm afraid. And that stopped me from doing the simplest things.
It became clear that if I broke it down into tiny steps, I could do those steps and it wouldn't feel scary. So, I made a list of kids currently in my classes that would be good candidates for the video, and I wrote notes to their parents asking permission to include the child. And then of course, I had to deliver them! What if they say "yes" and then it never happens, do I look like a jerk? etc, etc.... so I thought, I'll just write the notes. And then I was able to get the chutzpah to pass out a couple of them, and then a couple more...
My mind was making up all kinds of stories and reasons why the parents would say "no", why I couldn't do it, and why it wouldn't work out for me. It's almost embarrassing to be telling all of you this. I had already written out everything I needed to say to the videographer in the email, and simply did not send it. Why? Why?? So silly. So finally I just typed it up (which took a full 1.5 minutes! I'm sure he's thinking "this took you TWO weeks????") and sent it. So far, the world has not come to an end.
Now it's done and I can move forward. This was such a good lesson showing me that I just have to try. Coincidentally, if there is such a thing, I've been running across inspirational quotes about simply making an effort and trying. Reminding me that the failure is not in a lack of success, but a lack of trying to do anything meaningful. I finally convinced myself that I have to go for it. Not just in this situation, but in Life. And if it doesn't work out, so what? What am I afraid of? Seems so obvious, doesn't it?
So I encourage you to think crazy and take chances. Live a good life. I mean, why not?
Warmly,
Liz Doyle
www.LizDoyleYoga.com
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