Friday, November 4, 2011

Ask the Teacher!


I recently made a post on Facebook asking if anyone had yoga related questions, hoping someone would respond. I was surprised to receive 19 inquiries! I've decided to make a regular post of answers to people's questions. To submit a question, simply email me at: lizdoyle@msn.com... Read on for the first batch of questions and answers...

Ask the Teacher! November 3, 2011

Q: Nobody ever talks about the process of meditating… Tell me about that. Your take.
A: Well, there are many methods for meditating, so much to say, people write books on it. I think the thing to remember is not to get too hung up on the “process” to the degree it interferes with actually practicing. The process can be unelaborate, like observing the qualities of the breath, or even just witnessing what comes up without judging or interfering.
Over time, one hones one’s skills of concentration (dharana), and eventually cultivates eka grata (singe-pointedness), which leads to meditation (dyana). When one becomes so completely attuned to the object of concentration so that one’s entire being is absorbed, becoming one with the object of concentration, this is the nirvana (Samadhi) we are shooting for. From this refinement of concentration, BKS Iyengar says that ultimately the sadhaka (aspirant) “…turns his attention to a progressive exploration of the core of his being, the soul.”
In a nutshell, experiment and find something that works for you. Just know that for most, it’s never easy in the beginning, so pick a method that seems most agreeable and dedicate yourself to the practice of it. Eventually, the body stills, the mind quiets, and something special happens. Or nothing happens. But you have cultivated focus, equanimity and non-attachment in all situations, so it doesn’t matter—it’s all the same.

Q: You know how teachers sometimes say "set an intention for your practice"? I never could get it. If I keep a thought in mind, it prevents me from fully meditating through my movements (to me, the process of seated meditation is different from moving one). But I can see the benefit of practicing with intention. However, I have no idea how...
A: The setting of an intention goes back to the effort to meliorate one’s powers of concentration. All the yogic texts are very clear on this process: concentration and eka grata (single-pointedness) leads to equanimity, and equanimity leads to non-attachment. It’s a constant practice. When your concentration or effort to “hold” your intention, whatever it is, slips-- you just notice and come back.
My preference as a teacher and practitioner is to “dedicate” one’s practice. This is a slightly different practice, more of a devotional (bhakti) perspective. In the Bhagavad Gita, Lord Krishna tells Arjuna that one has the right to the work, but not the fruits of the work. And we don’t need mythology to understand how this works: you can try as hard as you want, but you don’t really have any control over the outcome, so you do your best, and the rest is not up to you. The exercise of dedicating your practice to something/someone/etc. is a straightforward practice in non-attachment. You decide at the beginning, “The fruits of whatever it is I cultivate here are not for me, they are for ___________.” Ironically, the benefits still come to you. Moreover, Krishna informs Arjuna that work done with anxiety for an outcome is virtually useless. So why not offer it up? It takes some of the pressure off, and you can become truly absorbed in the work. And who knows? Knowing you are doing it for someone/something outside of yourself might actually inspire you when times get tough.

Q: how yogasana transforms...
A: What’s interesting is that the asana practice transforms whether we intend it or not. It might take longer if we are not concerned with the subtler aspects of the practice and view it simply as exercise, but it will happen eventually. In my opinion, the shapes we make with our bodies imprint upon our consciousness, helping to reorganize and purify our Being. It follows then, that if we can “perfect” the alignment over time, the impact will be more powerful because the energetics of the poses will be cleaner and more direct. We naturally find ourselves, over time, with better focus and clarity, a calmer disposition, and greater equanimity—and of course, the physical benefits are obvious. Some of the physical benefits are less obvious, but as the body, organs, brain and consciousness are stimulated and refined with practice, the whole Being works better. All of this happens more efficaciously and holistically if there is an effectual methodic that the teacher follows, and the teacher is able to hold an energetic space for the practice that is conducive to this type of progress.

Q: yoga and bacon
A: Pigs are friends, not food! On a more serious note, the thing we really need to ask ourselves is “What was the process for this delicious bacon to end up on my plate?” and “Do I want to participate in that?” If we know the hows, the whys and the whats about the animals’ lives, the way they are treated, its impact on the environment and global hunger, and we are okay with that, it’s a personal decision. I never begrudge anyone’s food choices; I only hope that we make an effort to truly understand what is being supported when we pick up the fork, and it’s entirely up to the individual whether they are okay with that. It’s easy to insulate ourselves from the truthful impact of our actions through intentional ignorance, but the effect is the same. Well said by Ralph Waldo Emerson:
“You have just dined, and however scrupulously the slaughterhouse is concealed in the graceful distance of miles, there is complicity.”

Q: I'd love to hear stories taken from your hidden meanings workshop and how they relate to asana. Such as the story of hanuman and thinking of leaping (rather than gymnastics splits!) when in the posture.
A: This is such a fun and illuminating part of the practice for me. It’s my contention that the names of the poses tell us something and are a key to unlocking the mysteries of the poses and what they have to offer us.
The Ramayana is an epic poem, and Hanuman one of the main characters, so there are many stories to tell about him and the pose that shares his moniker: Hanumanasana (the splits). You alluded to one of the hints for the physical execution of this pose from the story of Hanuman:
Lord Rama’s wife, Sita, was kidnapped and he enlisted the help of Hanuman and his monkey army to find her. They had searched the land of India for her and when they reached the shore Hanuman LEAPT, in the splits, from the tip of India to Sri Lanka to find her. The lesson for us physically is that Hanumanasana is not an extreme stretching pose, but an extreme LEAPING pose, and for that reason I think it should be quite active.

Another beautiful lesson from this part of the story is that Hanuman had earned a boon of being invincible and powerful. As a child Hanuman was always into mischief, hiding the things of the sages and they placed a mild curse on him so that he could only remember how powerful he was when reminded by another. When he was standing on the shore, lamenting his inability to cross the sea between where he was standing and the land where he could rescue Sita, his friends and colleagues began encouraging him and reminding him of his greatness. At this, he remembered his capabilities and leapt across the water. This is a good reminder to all of us to encourage others and also to know that we are usually totally unaware of how amazing and capable we are. Next time you think you cannot do something- remember Hanuman!

If you enjoy these types of stories, I encourage you to attend my Hidden Meanings in Yoga Asana workshop at Yoga Bliss November 5, 2011.
See: http://www.lizdoyleyoga.com/schedule.html for more info!

Q: Balancing ease and challenge. Especially in a new difficult pose. How far is too far? When are you not being honest and moving beyond challenge to aggression. Just find that a constant conflict.

A: This is a question about the balance between sukha (delight) and sthira (steadiness). According to Patanjali in the Yoga Sutras:
II.46 Sthira sukham asanam: Asana is perfect firmness of body, steadiness of intelligence and benevolence of spirit.
Interestingly, this is the only aphorism in the yoga sutras that refers to asana. The answer to your question is quite uncomplicated: enough effort to achieve steadiness and firmness in the pose, but not so much as to create negativity and anxiety. BKS says “Performance of the asana should be nourishing and illuminative.”
The following sutra coaxes us towards steadiness, and even intimates how to get it:
I.31 Dukha daurmanasya angamejayatva svasaprasvasah viksepa sahabhuvah: Sorrow, despair, unsteadiness of the body and irregular breathing further distract the citta (mind/intellect/ego).
I know this must seem so repetitive, but we’re back to the “concentration leads to equanimity which leads to non-attachment” theme. One hint from this sutra for me is that we should establish a regular breathing pattern and be faithful to it-- “follow the breath”. For example, if it’s an inhale to enter the pose, when the inhale has stopped, you’re done. Now you stay and continue breathing, perhaps going farther or deeper with the next breath. You know when you’re grasping or coveting (graha) the pose, and in yoga we are trying to cultivate aparigraha (without greed) in all our actions.
Everyone gets frustrated at times, especially if you’re really working towards something. Constantly we cultivate equanimity in the process so that we remain undisturbed and consider all experience in our svadyaya (self-study).

To submit your own “ask the teacher” question, just email me! LizDoyle@msn.com

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Beauty Will Save the World


Hello Friends!

Dostoevsky said, "Beauty will save the world." I've been turning this over in my head a lot the last month or so. If there's one thing worth striving for in a yoga practice, it's Beauty-- otherwise it's simply acrobatics or gymnastics. But save the world? What does that mean as we live our daily lives?

Imagine if we endeavored to infuse every aspect of our lives, each action, with Beauty. What words would pass your lips, what thoughts would cross your mind, with what bhava or feeling would you do everything? It's nearly impossible to conceive of the robustness of experience, the positive impact that could have. In achieving this, I am the least among us.

Often, I am personally "lost" in the busyness of daily life, surrounded by pavement, the sounds of the city drowning out my thoughts and the symphony of Nature. A couple of weekends ago I spent some time alone at my grandmother's lake cabin. No TV, no radio, no cell service or internet. I could actually hear the wind rustling the leaves of the trees like they were talking to me. It was during this time that I realized these moments of "retreat" are so critical. Removing oneself from daily events and the barrage of noise on every level gives one a chance to settle. For me, I find it also reminds me that there is Beauty all around me, and that I should try to add to that Beauty.

The thing I've noticed most is that I usually head into these times with a list of tasks to finally complete, books to read, articles to write, etc... and none of it ever gets done. Somehow, in spite of my lack of productivity, devoid of a conscious directing of volition, a powerful thought or intention magically pops up that affects the course of my life and the person I want to be.

This gave me a new appreciation for the yoga retreat, however brief. So ubiquitous the opportunities, it almost gives the impression that a retreat cannot be all that important. On the contrary, its importance cannot be underscored enough. A group of like-minded people, coming together for a period of time to support each other in the process of self-study, in surroundings conducive to inner reflection, is bound to have powerful and lasting effects.

It's easy to think that what we do in our lives isn't that critical most of the time. But what if it IS? What if we lived as if EVERYTHING mattered? Another Russian novelist suggests that Beauty may elevate our works to that of the heavens:

"Works steeped in Truth and presenting it to us vividly alive will take hold of us, will attract us to themselves with great power- and no one, ever, even in a later age, will presume to negate them...and if the too obvious, too straight branches of Truth and Good are crushed or amputated and cannot reach the light-yet perhaps the whimsical, unpredictable, unexpected branches of Beauty will make their way through and soar up to that very place and in this way perform the work of all three." ~Alexsandr Solzhenitsyn

It's fascinating to me that these two men lived in the Soviet Union during very bleak times, and it's proof you don't have to go on a retreat to "find yourself" or appreciate Beauty-- but it might be helpful. Life can be so challenging, and sometimes apparently ugly. Find inspiration anywhere you can, look for it within yourself as well as around you, and imagine it when all else fails. And if you don't know what to do or how to do it, make it Beautiful. That has to be enough.

Satyam Sivam Sundaram (Truth is God and God is Beauty),
Liz

For information on my upcoming retreats, please email me or check out my website:

www.LizDoyleYoga.com

Tripsichore Yoga


This month I wanted to talk a little about Edward Clark and what you can hope to get out of his workshop in September. For starters, it's a rare occasion to spend time with a Master Teacher, dare I say "international yoga celebrity", in a more intimate format that welcomes intelligent discourse and questions.

Edward is uniquely funny, brilliant and an effective and entertaining teacher. I encourage you to join us for the weekend of September 23-25 (details and comments from students who attended his previous workshop to the right) for Edward's workshop in Seattle. It promises to be a good time loaded with fun, great yoga technique, and yoga philosophy discussions. Here're a few words from Edward regarding what we'll be covering and why:

"At the very second you are reading this, somewhere on the globe, there are at least 3 yoga teachers exhorting their students to "Breathe". I have the statistics in my briefcase. Unless the students are enrolled in a YOGA FOR PEARL FISHERS PROGRAMME (copyrighted and trademarked), they can't have been avoiding breathing for too long. So, asking questions that seems too obvious and which have hence been overlooked, what are the advantages in breathing well? What constitutes "good" breathing? Also, a somewhat more sophisticated question, what are the techniques?

The answers to these questions may seem surprisingly complex and contradictory. For instance, on the one hand, "good" breathing is held as a tenet of most contemporary yoga practices whilst on the other hand, lengthy breath retentions are esteemed by much of the hatha literature of yore. The vinyasa premise is that breathing is a
mechanism through which prana is manipulated. But, WAIT! What exactly is meant by the term "prana"? It would be pointless to try to give a full answer to the question in this brief pitch to lure you into attending a FULL!! Weekend of workshops and lectures (Yes, come on -- do you really think you're going to "get it" by attending a couple of the sessions? I reckon it takes at least a month of 8 hour sessions to even come close).

While this workshop won't "open your heart" or "root your core" or even "make a shamanic transformation", it will present a forum for the technical aspects of pranayama in vinyasa practice -- a subject rarely given extended discourse."

Well, there you go...from Edward himself. As most of you know, I spent a month with Edward at his studio in London learning his technique. It was an incredibly meaningful learning experience, and absolutely invaluable. We all know breathing is important, and as teachers, we talk about it constantly. Edward practices what he preaches, and what Edward will teach you is the specific whys and hows of making the breath work for you in your practice. And you may be surprised to find out it's not just about the physical practice, that's just the part people see...

Pranically Yours,

Liz

PS for info on the workshop, see my website: www.LizDoyleYoga.com and to register, email me at lizdoyle@msn.com

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Practicing From the Heart



For those of you who know me and come to class regularly, you know I have no problem waxing on regarding virtually any yoga related topic. So why was an article on backbending so hard to write? At first I started with the hows and physical benefits, but that’s really missing the forest for the trees. You can learn the hows, the secrets and techniques, along with anatomy and physical benefits at the workshop (CLICK HERE FOR INFO) -- The real question is the why…

Let’s start with how people sometimes feel about backbends. They can be intimidating, intense, and even scary. WHY? Well, if you’ll forgive the pun, it really gets to the heart of the reasons for a yoga practice. As yoga practitioners, we are striving to practice and live in a heart centered way. Backbends are often referred to as “heart openers”. What does that mean? Do you really want your heart “opened”?

For me, when I hear it described like that, it feels like maybe my heart will be opened in a way that would make it vulnerable and easily damaged or hurt. What that kind of language is really about is living fully from the wisdom of the heart, with the heart fully open to the richness of Life- which includes pain, pleasure and all that’s in between.

The true nature of openness of the heart has to do with truly connecting with others, the Creator and all of Creation. And to do that completely, there is a certain amount of vulnerability involved. Rachel Naomi Remen said, “At the heart of any real intimacy is a certain vulnerability. It is hard to trust someone with your vulnerability unless you can see in them a matching vulnerability and know that you will not be judged. In some basic way, it is our imperfections and even our pain that draws others close to us.”

This vulnerability then, is really about being authentic and real in a way that is available to others. Not so that you can be exposed to danger or pain, but so that you can connect. And the reason this works is because as you let go of the veil of “protection” you become closer to your true Self. When you can let go of your self with the little “s”, and be in touch with your Self with a big “S”, then the ego fades, and your interactions with Self and other are more about connecting genuinely than representing yourself in a certain way according to what you think might be most impressive.

This kind of openness and vulnerability will of course expose us to potential pain and heartbreak, but in a knowing that there will also be a corresponding joy and satisfaction that can only be experienced in the polarity between the two. This living from the wisdom of the heart provides fertile ground for the Grand Experiment we call a yoga practice. One of my teachers, Aadil Palkhivala talks about intensity versus force. As you move through your asana practice be very sensitive to the distinction between the two. At some point where you experience mental, emotional, spiritual discomfort, are you forcing it on some level? Use your spiritual discernment to know the difference.

Once you can have an awareness of feeling, practicing and living from the heart, you can use this Knowledge and Awareness to offer up the energies of the lower chakras (such as desire, fear, etc.) to the wisdom of the heart; offering also the energies of the higher chakras (thoughts, analysis, emotions, etc.) to the wisdom of the heart, the Seat of Love.

As you practice backbends, whatever comes up for you, offer it up. Work with intensity, and without force, opening your Self to all that Life has to offer, knowing you are meant and able to experience it ALL. And when you can approach not just your practice, but your Living in this way, you will be more connected to Everything, and bless the world with Who You Really Are.

Stay Bendy~
With Love, Liz

Thursday, August 11, 2011

What's All The Fuss About Prana?


Hello Friends!

This month I wanted to talk a little about Edward Clark and what you can hope to get out of his workshop in September. For starters, it's a rare occasion to spend time with a Master Teacher, dare I say "international yoga celebrity", in a more intimate format that welcomes intelligent discourse and questions.

Edward is uniquely funny, brilliant and an effective and entertaining teacher. I encourage you to join us for the weekend of September 23-25 (details and comments from students who attended his previous workshop to the right) for Edward's workshop in Seattle. It promises to be a good time loaded with fun, great yoga technique, and yoga philosophy discussions. Here're a few words from Edward regarding what we'll be covering and why:

"At the very second you are reading this, somewhere on the globe, there are at least 3 yoga teachers exhorting their students to "Breathe". I have the statistics in my briefcase. Unless the students are enrolled in a YOGA FOR PEARL FISHERS PROGRAMME (copyrighted and trademarked), they can't have been avoiding breathing for too long. So, asking questions that seems too obvious and which have hence been overlooked, what are the advantages in breathing well? What constitutes "good" breathing? Also, a somewhat more sophisticated question, what are the techniques?

The answers to these questions may seem surprisingly complex and contradictory. For instance, on the one hand, "good" breathing is held as a tenet of most contemporary yoga practices whilst on the other hand, lengthy breath retentions are esteemed by much of the hatha literature of yore. The vinyasa premise is that breathing is a mechanism through which prana is manipulated. But, WAIT! What exactly is meant by the term "prana"? It would be pointless to try to give a full answer to the question in this brief pitch to lure you into attending a FULL!! Weekend of workshops and lectures (Yes, come on -- do you really think you're going to "get it" by attending a couple of the sessions? I reckon it takes at least a month of 8 hour sessions to even come close).

While this workshop won't "open your heart" or "root your core" or even "make a shamanic transformation", it will present a forum for the technical aspects of pranayama in vinyasa practice -- a subject rarely given extended discourse."

Well, there you go...from Edward himself. As most of you know, I spent a month with Edward at his studio in London learning his technique. It was an incredibly meaningful learning experience, and absolutely invaluable. We all know breathing is important, and as teachers, we talk about it constantly. Edward practices what he preaches, and what Edward will teach you is the specific whys and hows of making the breath work for you in your practice. And you may be surprised to find out it's not just about the physical practice, that's just the part people see...

Pranically Yours,

Liz

PS- to learn more about Edward's upcoming workshop in Seattle, September 23-25, or to register, email me at lizdoyle@msn.com, or check out the website: www.LizDoyleYoga.com

See you there!

Practice Interruptus


Hello Friends!

Here's a question: what do you do when it feels like your practice is going to hell in a handbasket? And you can define that anyway you'd like:

-I don't have time to practice

-I'm frustrated with/by/from (insert reason here)

-I'm not as motivated

-I can't find a yoga teacher/studio/style I like

-I stopped and I can't make myself start again

-I'm injured

You get the picture. I've recently been struggling with my own practice. This past month I haven't been practicing as intensely as I have for the last year, I can feel the difference in my practice, and I don't like it.

It doesn't really matter why we allow disruption to our practice. In my case, my good friend Patrick, a local yoga teacher and my yoga practice buddy, broke his arm. We have been practicing together for a year and a half or so, and it's been great. We like the same crazy stuff, we both like to work hard, and we have a similar enthusiasm for the practice. I have been looking forward to practicing with Pat for 18 months, when suddenly last month, he could not practice. UGH. I've been practicing, but it hasn't been the same. It was different when I had someone to push me, inspire me and hold me accountable on the days I didn't really feel like it. And things have been a bit lackluster for the last month as a result.

I've had all the normal feelings about it- frustration, annoyance, disappointment with myself; but I've also looked for the lessons in this experience.

Here's what I've come up with so far:

1.There is an ebb and flow to life, and therefore to the practice-on all levels. So don't be lazy, but don't beat yourself up either. Do your best to keep it together during the less ideal times, and things will come back around- they always do.
2.A yoga practice is personal, individual and about svadyaya (self-study), so it's best not to let it get too wrapped up in another person, their practice, or their existence. Yoga is personal. It is about Self-realization, not "Selves" - realization.
With those lessons in mind, it's healthy and fun to practice with one or more people. It's good to connect with other humans, and despite the requisite lip service to no competition in yoga, if everyone else is trying something, you 'll probably try stuff you wouldn't try if left to your own devices. And that's a good thing for personal growth.

Connecting and interacting with others is uniquely human, and it's where all the real yoga happens. Just make sure the practice is ultimately about and for you in a way that serves your spiritual development --with or without the company. Even though it would be so much simpler if enlightenment were about leg variations in handstand, it really has nothing to do with that, and everything to do with polishing the diamond of the soul and shining the light of the intellect upon it to reveal the beauty of its facets.

So put your efforts into your own inner practice, using the tools you have acquired thus far, with the most consistent work you can muster, and let no one or no circumstance deter you from the most important work you can do-revealing your true Self.

I hope to see you soon!
Consistently Yours,

Liz

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Opportunities and Challenges


I was honored by my friends' request to "officiate" their commitment ceremony. What I didn't expect was how it would change me. I arrived in town for dinner, and when I got home, I reviewed what I was going to say, and started to get very emotional. I was re-working it a bit, re-typing and reviewing everything, and I needed an objective point of view. It was quite late, but my friend Stephanie answered. She approved of what I had written, and followed with: "you need to somehow incorporate this part of you into your teaching".

Well, I knew right away she was right, but I asked her to elaborate. She said, if I could share this part of me with my students, they would be able to connect with me and feel that I care about them, and she shared with me some feedback she had received from people who had attended my classes. What hurt about these words was she was right. I know I have not totally shared myself with my students. The worst part was thinking that my students had suffered for it, and did not know how much I care about them.

I don't know what this is all going to mean for me, my teaching and my students, but I do know that sharing what's in my heart (without sounding like a blowhard) will be a challenge. I'm guarded. The power of what I feel inside is overwhelming, and I don't yet know how to express it without being overly-emotional. This process is going to make me a better human being and a better yoga teacher. And that's what it's all about anyway.

I salute, honor and support my friends Gary and Chris as they embark on their life together. And I thank them for being the kind of friends that inspire and challenge me to be the best human being I can be.
--------------------

Here's what I said during the opening remarks while "officiating" the commitment ceremony:

Hi Everyone, I’m Liz. I met Gary a few years ago when he attended a yoga class I was teaching. As yoga practitioners, we’re trying to peel away the layers of junk that prevent us from radiating our true selves, which is, of course, Love. When thinking about Love, I turned to the writings of a Sufi Mystic and Poet of the 13th century named Rumi, and I came across these words, so apropos for this ceremony:

“On a day when the wind is perfect, the sail just needs to open, and the world is full of beauty. Today is such a day.”

The fact is, the wind of life, and life’s available experience, is ALWAYS perfect. It’s really just a matter of opening the sails of the heart, so that the hardened layers of protection we wear as a result of the less enjoyable aspects of Life can be shed, and Beauty can be seen in its full glory. Today IS such a day. Today is a gateway. You may have noticed that marriages are often conducted under archways. These gates or archways are symbols; of goals attained, and more importantly, as a symbol of the end of one phase, and the beginning of another.

Gary and Chris, you’ve chosen to stand here together and make some serious promises to each other, and then walk together through the metaphorical gate to the rest of your Life together. It takes courage and “heart” to make these commitments, and to have this opportunity is a Blessing. No lifetime voyage is without hardships, but know that you are not alone. We are all here, literally at your back, to support you. Today is about your love for and commitment to each other—but know that you are not the only ones making promises today. Our presence here signifies our commitment to you as a couple, helping you all along the way, doing our part to help you keep your promise to each other.

With that said, it’s the two of you that will do the heavy lifting, and reap the incomparable rewards that only come with hard work, devotion, sacrifice, and most of all Love. Where do we look for Love, and how do we keep it alive?

I don’t know what words of inspiration I can offer to the two of you, who inspire all of us. It’s your love for each other that brought you together, and brings us all here. What is love?

Gary, Love is the feeling in your heart that fills it completely, in way you never imagined you could feel for another human being…

Chris, Love is the music of Gary’s laughter in your ears…

Gary and Chris, Love is the respect you have for each other’s way of expressing themself and the confidence each of you have in being who you are…

Chris, Love is Gary’s unexpected kindness towards and tolerance of Teddy when you first met (letting you know you would get the same treatment)…

Gary, Love is talking about your future with Chris early on, even though it made you little nervous, and Love is also his reaction.

Love isn’t one big thing, Love is the Beauty in all the little things. You already recognize the Beauty in each other, and in all the little things about your Beloved. It’s these little signs of Beauty, that add up to the one big thing: the two of you together.

Before the lovely Julie reads for you, I will leave you with one last bit of advice from one of Rumi’s poems on keeping love alive:

RELATIONSHIP BOOSTER
Here is a relationship booster
that is guaranteed to
work:

Every time your spouse or lover says something stupid
make your eyes light up as if you

just heard something

brilliant.